Saturday, May 11, 2013

Your Ultimate Guide to a Chinese BBQ

Imagine an all out American BBQ. Now take that imaginary BBQ and place it at a park where there is a large group of people who are fishing by the river, grilling & eating delicious food, playing games and enjoying each others company. How are they fishing? What are they eating? How are they preparing the food in the park? What games are they playing or in other words, what's their source of entertainment?
Now that you've painted a clear picture let's take that imagine and place it in China and I'll tell you exactly how it should look.

Everyone fishing needs to have an old glass jar with a long string wrapped around it so you can easy retrieve it when you drop it in the water. That jar needs to have a piece of saran wrap over the top and a small whole for the fish to swim in and eat the bread that is bait.

There needs to be a man who is a stranger to everyone there but has been called in to be the personal grill master. He rides in on his scooter with a skinny, long rectangular grill, a box of coals, and all the food necessary to feed the crowd. He proceeds to set up, cook, and serve everyone.

The people should be eating flubbery pork skin, grilled seaweed, skewered tofu & cilantro wraps, a variety of spicy grilled meat chunks, fish, shrimp, dehydrated beef, chicken feet, and the international staple-watermelon. There were some "hotdogs" on a stick but they look and taste like they're plastic. Hotdogs are already unnatural but these bring hotdogs up to an entirely new level of being unnatural.

The people are sitting around on picnic blankets making sure no one forgets to try any of the delicious food (it was all actually very tasty). You are repeatedly offered beer no matter how many times you refuse it. Others are up running around with the kids, playing badminton or Taiji dragon ball.

When Andrew and I were invited to go to a BBQ by his students' parents we didn't know what to expect but we had a feeling there wouldn't be any potato salad. Now you can be prepared the next time you're invited to attend a Chinese BBQ. Your welcome.

Just remember that even though it looks strange they will be able to catch some fish (they were just small little baby fish but the kids loved it--and loved trying to kill them in little to no water). Also, the food may look inedible but it's safe. When you hear "pig skin" just eat. The texture of some things may throw you off but the spices they use are yummy yummy. If all else fails stick with the fruit and shrimp. That's usually safe. You will see the Chinese people playing games and think that you can be just as amazing. It's harder than it looks but try it anyway for a good laugh. I'll give you a leg up and show you what two player Taiji dragon ball is supposed to look like. Just become one with the ball and follow its lead. Good Luck!

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